Make You Feel My Love
It’s another 13th. 89 months of being together. wow. Listening to Adele’s version of Make You Feel My Love at half past 4 in the morning gives me the warm fuzzy feeling. Although the song really is for someone who hasn’t made up his/her mind yet to accept the love, it is really a beautiful song.
In two months’, we’ll be married for 2 years already. Where had my past 21 months gone to, while being the wife of the Wan? Doesn’t time seem to be rushing past so much faster than ever?
*emo overcomes me*
For the months we’re married, I recall our two huge fights. The worst was when I disappeared on him, left the house before he came home from work, without bringing my phone along with me. I was gone for a good 2 hours before deciding to return to an empty home. He had left home to look for me. We have our stupidest moments. Being married is not easy; at the same time it can be not difficult. I guess what I’m trying to say is that while we’ve been together as a couple for 7 years, there are lots of things yet to be discovered.
Over the course of being married, I have had at least 5 single ladies asking me the same question – how do I know he is the ONE?
(this is a darn long post. click only if you want to read more squeamish details :P)
What further puzzle most people is the fact that the Wan is my first ever serious boyfriend. The more these ladies want to know how in the bloody world do I conclude this Irwan Abu Bakar is indeed the one for me.
We got to know each other by chance through mIRC (Internet Relay Chat) in #hiphop (HAHAHA!). Our conversation started pretty smooth. We found out that we had alot to talk about in common. From chats, we moved on to emails then phone textes. Our 1st blind date was not quite perfect yet not really disastrous. I was turned off by his dinner choice actually. But what turned it around was that he called me the same night, asking if things were ok (that would be another story to tell). I was caught by surprise, really, when he called. He was the 1st ever guy whom I met after a blind date who bothered to even call me back!
Going back to 13th July 2001, he was so sure that he wanted to take my hand and walk the then-new path with me. I, on the other hand, wasn’t so sure of that new-tingling feeling I never felt before. It was his certainty and sincerity which made me trust him. 3 years on, our relationship was caught in the turbulence. It was definitely a period where we had to decide if we should make-it or break-it. I was broken, completely. I went berserk, quite literally. It was my first true heart break. I never knew love could hurt so bad.
It was then, I learnt – Love makes a woman out of a girl. But loss, makes a man out of a boy. I decided to go the “break-it” way and be free.
Just 3 days after learning a very hard/heavy lesson, the Wan left for a 7-month overseas training in Kanchanaburi, Thailand. It was then, throughout the 7 months, we realised how much distance made our hearts grew fonder. It was his determination at trying to win me again, won me over. We made the “make-it” instead. And upon returning from Thailand, one month later, he got his family to come over and meet mine to seek my hand in marriage. We got engaged the next month in December 2004 then married by February 2007.
By the 3rd year being together, I still didn’t know if he was indeed the one for me. It was during the 7 months when we were apart, separated in two different countries, we learnt that we want to be with each other quite forever. For me, the turning point was when the Wan got homesick and fell ill for 2 straight nights. His fever was running at 39° high. He called me from the sick bay, sobbing, calling out my name over and over. He had no response to whatever I was saying to him. All he did was to call out my name repeatedly while I hear him sobbing. The next morning, when I returned his call, he couldn’t recall to had even dialled my number.
That was it. That was when I knew, he is the one I can tolerate and yet not live without.
With the years we have been together and that one painful lesson, we embraced the future with certainty. No matter the tidal wave, we will work things out. That has always been our motto since we started. We will always work things out. If one is too angry, sleep it over and talk about it the next day when both heads are cleared. Communication is the key to compromisation. If there is no compromise in a marriage, it is hard for two strangers to be living together almost 24-by-7 and under one roof.
Having said that, always be thankful for the chance you’ve given at love, and for the people you love (and those who love you) to be around you. You will never know what tomorrow brings. That is, if tomorrow comes.
Thank you, Irwan Abu Bakar, for loving me as much as you have been and knocking some sense over me whenever needed. Happy 13th to us and Insya-Allah, we’ll see to our 2nd anniversary. ❤ you much.