Okay, I started this entry to say that I’ve actually wrote my thoughts/travelling diary on the first night we were in Bali. But I never seemed to be able to complete it or to even transfer it to my blog digitally.

I should do so soon cos I want to re-read what I wrote and relive those short happy 4 days & 3 nights we were there on our own.

I need to move my negativities of a Friday towards positiveness.

Filed under: conscience ]]> http://nazeera.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/missing-the-privacy/feed/ 0 1.331891 103.850295 1.331891 103.850295 zee http://nazeera.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/now-you-see-me-later-you-wont/ http://nazeera.wordpress.com/2010/03/19/now-you-see-me-later-you-wont/#comments Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:07:04 +0000 zee http://nazeera.wordpress.com/?p=1521 ]]> This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading.

I guess I was just too physically & mentally tired and my body was calling out for a time-out. We also have a good reason too – we’re celebrating our 3rd Wedding Anniversary as well as our company – PlayPause – 1st Official Anniversary. We’re having a double-wham-bam-hit-the-jam celebration hehe

Since it’s quite an impromptu trip, we’re still rushing some work before we can finally pack our bags for Bali. I got quite a scare last night when I got the asthma attack, but I’m all well now! (ok lah, still got coughing and sounding nasal heh).

Anyhow, I leave you with this song that I’ve loved since 1997… and my inspiration to visit Bali one day. That “one day” has arrived. I’m going to Bali “with my hairy Valentine”.

Goodil – Stoned Revivals

Let’s fly away… on a trip to Bali!

Again it went missing for January and now, towards the end of February, I’m getting weird body aches yet, no sight of it. I have been peeing on a stick but to be disappointed yet again and again.

I almost went berserk and scare my husband out of his wits. I started to have all these bottled up feelings that everything in this room is not going on fine. Yes, I don’t live in a house, I live in a room. This doesn’t feel like a home to me. I kinda lost it a few days back almost screaming at my harmless husband *sigh* I am so sorry, hubby…

Perhaps I overworked myself, I feel the strain physically & emotionally. Even my brain is tired. But I guess all I need is a well-deserved holiday. I’m quite restless an until we confirm our Bali trip, I guess I’ll continue being restless like this.

Filed under: conscience, work ]]> http://nazeera.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/i-am-no-super-woman/feed/ 0 1.331891 103.850295 1.331891 103.850295 zee http://nazeera.wordpress.com/2010/02/20/our-double-celebration/ http://nazeera.wordpress.com/2010/02/20/our-double-celebration/#comments Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:07:04 +0000 zee http://nazeera.wordpress.com/?p=1507 ]]> My family tradition is taking over us. We are used to having home celebrations for birthdays and what-nots. Since Asfa’s birthday is our Anniversary, we would always end up at Yishun for the evening to have our traditional “Allah selamat kan kamu” song-singing and birthday gifts for Asfa.

Nope, this year, we didn’t manage to get ourselves our new phones in time for our Anniversary. The new phones have to wait til next month. Oh well.

I had thought I’d spoil the day for Wan but he has his ways, as always.

When I got home from Badoque after the clock strikes 12 midnight, I found his tweets & Facebook messages for me to view a video he did. Looking back, I can’t believe it has already been 3 years. Years of ups and downs and definitely alot more love going between us. No matter that I am yet to get ourselves pregnant, the Wan has never questioned fate and showered me with more love and care.

Darling, I guess I’m lucky I found you.

Here, he did this photo/video montage for me…

We got ourselves the merchandise but I’m very bumped I didn’t get MUSE tote bag =(

I’m not going to write a review but all I can say is that, I had a great time. We captured videos, I guess thank God for the security wasn’t that anal that night, and you can view them as how we did. When the video gets jumpy, you know that I was jumping too. heh. Here are some photos and links to the videos.

More photos are here

Setlist for the night
(links are directed to the corresponding videos)

Uprising
Supermassive Black Hole
Map of the Problematique
Resistance
Interlude
Hysteria
Stockholm Syndrome
Nishe
United States Of Eurasia
Sunburn
Helsinki Jam
Undisclosed Desires
MK Ultra
Starlight
Time Is Running Out
Unnatural Selection

Encore:
Exogenesis: Symphony, Part 1: Overture
Plug In Baby
Knights of Cydonia

So that’s that. I just hope that one day you’ll stumble upon this blog of mine and you can reminisce too, how it was like to have you as a baby/toddler. I hope you won’t forget how much we dote on you. And.. how much Mama Ain would want to have a cousin for you to grow up with.

It’s so amazing that within a year, you’ve grown so much. Last year, you refused to go to school after what seemed to be only a few weeks. I had the heartache of watching you wailing out for me whenever I tried to sneak away running to leave you behind. This time around, you seem to be so much happy to go Madrasah. Although I’ve yet to see you off to school this time, you sure do look happy from Mek Ein’s photo.

Anyway, here’s a look back at you…

Freshly born Asfa

1-year-old Asfa

2-year-old Asfa with a guitar

3-year-old Asfa

Asfa, last month, 3yrs 11mths

Last Saturday, I got the chance to be one again. The MMMamas went out for a picnic together and I love every minute of it, right from the beginning at Sembawang MRT. We met up with Fau & Mimi with their respective children at the MRT station. It was so easy to get acquainted with Sarah, Mimi’s eldest daughter. I love how she reminds me of how active Asfa can get.

While Mimi had to tend to Marsha most of the time, Sarah seemed to not mind having to hold my hand instead. It pulls my heart string throughout the journey whenever she turned back to me and call out, “I want to hold your hand!” She speaks fluently in English for a 4 year old. Just like Asfa who surprises me every now and then with his big words, I guess the early-year babies learn very fast.

I guess for now being a pseudo mom is quite fulfilling for me. Although I don’t deny the yearning gets stronger. I cry each time I leave my pseudo kids; with thoughts that my children will miss having them as friends, or, will I ever hold my own baby in my arms.

Oh well, before I get further emo than this, here’s a very nice shot of us at the picnic (sans Nuwul) by Osman.