My play-hard weekend

I’ve been working pretty hard with the running & rushing around meeting clients as well as completing projects the whole week. This weekend, I managed to “play” as hard too.

My weekend started on Friday, 18th Dec; right after rushing to collect our company chop/stamp & meeting a client for a short meeting. I met up with my lovely ladies at Raffles Hotel Longbar Steakhouse. It was only when I sat down & May asked that I realized I had forgotten to take my camera in all my rush. Thankfully, May’s colleague had a camera in the office. We’re saved!

I love catching up with the ladies. As the years go by, our topics matured. I’m glad for Stef that she has completed her final exams to her part-time degree. So it was kind of double celebration at the dinner. We also did our yearly traditional gift-exchange, though I’m so ashamed to say that my presents for them were not exactly complete. Oh, did I mention that I bought my very first LBD (and a darn sexy one at that) especially for this dinner with them?

Althou it's a steakhouse, I had a medium-rare tuna. yum!

Ann had lobster

Only May had steak

While Stef had cod fish

I love the colors of this photo!

From Raffles Hotel, I rushed up to Marsiling Rise for Nadrah’s henna night. Helped her out with her henna and we sat & talked till about 2am. I finally got home at 3. Then we woke up early on Saturday, 19th Dec, to attend Nadrah’s solemnization at An-Nur Mosque at 10am.

Nadrah & Zaihan

As soon as the Solemnization was over, we headed down to Illuma at Bugis for the launch of Six Rocket. Thank God we made it to the launch.During their Q&A session, they actually gave away HUGE prizes. Guess what? I was the first to answer a question and I got to bring back a Sony Digital Photo Frame/Printer! The Wan went on to answer another question and he brought home this Panasonic Lumix GH1 baby! We also got a $20 Cathay Photo voucher during their lucky draw. But we had to miss the free movie screening of Avatar after the launch cos we had to rush back to Nadrah’s wedding ceremony.

with Six Rocket CEO, Pete

the Wan with his prize

Six Rocket's textured notebook packaging

With all our prizes, we had to make a pit-stop back home to leave the bulky items. We finally arrived back at Woodlands at about 4.30pm. The newly weds were already going to change into their Javanese outfit.

the Javanese royalty? hehe

Saturday night ended close to midnight after the newly weds offered to drive us home. hah! So sweet of them =D

In conjunction with her 5th Anniversary, my eldest sister had informed us that she made reservation for our family at Causeway Point’s Seoul Garden for lunch. Just before heading out to Causeway Point, our cousin Lyn had initiated an impromptu day out. So we actually suggested to fly kite at the Barrage again. The best thing for this time’s Barrage, my whole family tagged along. We arrived at the Barrage around 5pm and headed to the Roof Garden directly to fly our kites.

Me fly kite with Dad while Nadia's fiance Imran flying one

As we were all so excited flying our kites, the rain poured! It can only mean one thing – head down to the Water Playground!

Asfa's best swimming "pool" ever!

After the kids had been washed up, another impromptu decision was made for dinner. For the first time ever, my family headed down to Badoque Cafe together. This time, my whole family, plus the 2 in-laws and 1 future-in-law, together with Dino & Lyn with Nardyne – 13 in all! I was so excited that I called for reservation right away! It was also to surprise my brother-in-law whose birthday falls on the next day, 21st Dec 09.

the Birthday Man

All 13 of us at Badoque

And with a very sumptuous Badoque dinner, we ended our Sunday. It was definitely a great weekend of hard “play” for me. It’s been a long while since our family went out for lunch AND dinner together like this.

I love how the weekend was filled with love from the closest friends & my family. It’s a nice end to a long week for me. Definitely.

When it’s just a post with photos

Esplanade – 9th Nov 09

The morning of EidAdha, 27th Nov 09, from my room window.

The evening of EidAdha, at Fajar Road level 8.
The sun peeked through the clouds after the rain.

When we only took one photo for Eid Adha

When?

Last night as my husband lay asleep, I found myself pacing this little room. I couldn’t sleep. I laid in bed and spent some few moments watching how peaceful he looked asleep. I tried to close my eyes and sort of count sheep to try to sleep. I didn’t switch the computer on as I know I’d just be on it for hours.

So I stood by the window. Enjoying the cool air of the night. There wasn’t much space for me to go anyway. I have a nephew-in-law who sleeps in the hall and I need to get properly dressed if I want to leave the room.

Earlier last night, during Eid visiting to my uncle’s, his mother-in-law asked how long I’ve been back in Singapore. It was the most asked question of the night actually. Like I said, I returned and went into recluse. So I answered her with a tinge of guilt, “A few weeks already”. Her next question totally caught me off-guard.

“Have yet?” with her eyes looking down on my tummy.

I faked a smile and shook my head, “Not yet”. Her next statement killed me.

“So long already”.

I felt my blood drained out of me. It was as if my soul was sucked out of there, right under my nose.

Perhaps it’s because she’s an elderly and I couldn’t be rude to snap her out of the question. Suddenly I felt so lonely in a house filled with almost 60 people.

She went on, “But it’s not so bad, you can still do things together.” Maybe she saw pity through me. When she paused, I just stood up and went in search for my husband.

I found him in the boys’ room having a go at XBox with my younger cousins. He certainly has his ways with kids, he always do. I wanted to pull him away, out of that room and just burst into tears in his embrace. But seeing him having fun with the boys, I didn’t have the heart to.

So I found myself standing by the kitchen door, sipping hot tea and staring into space. I cried to myself, inside.

I cried silently by the window. I didn’t want to wake him, the light-sleeper he is.

Sometimes, I tell myself that my condition is a blessing in disguise. But sometimes, I cannot help but to just crumble and cry and ask when. Last night was just one of those “sometimes”.

I don’t want sympathy nor pity. I want people to stop asking, but really, how can I stop them? Am I supposed to leave the house with a tee that says, “I’m trying godammit!” I thought I’d get over it. After all, it’s been almost 3 years since people have been asking, “Are you pregnant yet?” “Are you taking birth control pills?” “You don’t want children eh?”

The only way for me to shut people up is for me to stay in recluse. Stay away from people. That’s what I’ve been doing.

Once my reply to people was, “I’ll tell the whole world when I’m pregnant,” but now I think when I do get pregnant finally, I will just go back into recluse.

When I spent time with Grandma

My Grandma, was born in 1925 and named Tumini. But when it was time to register her name, apparently they registered her only as Mini. The year she was born could have been a mistake too because according to my granduncle, they were born in the same year, 1923. Of course, we cannot verify that fact.

I’ve always taken her for granted. I guess most of us do. Our grandparents exist around us just because. Some of us didn’t even take the initiative to get to know them. Who are they really? How were they like during their childhood, teenage and adulthood years?

So earlier today, I had the chance to be alone with her. I decided to take her down for a stroll. Grandma hasn’t been quite strong to walk a distance, and has been quite dependent on the wheelchair for a long “walk”.

I pushed her to the nearby Esso to get her some madelines, which when she asked I had to say they are baulu orang puteh, and a Magnum ice-cream for myself.  We then stopped and sat at the block just next to Esso where she began eating the madelines. I thought, maybe I should try asking her a question I’ve once asked her before. Just to hear her tell the story again.

Grandma has this protruding line on her nail of her left thumb. Years ago, I asked her about it and she told me it happened when she was a teenager. She was cutting a coconut open when it happened. She sliced her thumb and her nail was almost cut off. When it healed, the line was there.

Today, when I asked her, she said she don’t remember at all. She only remember she had injured herself somehow.

You see, Grandma has Alzheimer.

I tried my luck to ask if she remembered what it was like during the Japanese Occupation. Like I said, I tried my luck. She don’t remember anything at all.

It was too late to find out alot from her. But the memories of her when she was the strong able-bodied Grandma is still fresh in my mind. I remember her as the lady who took care of us when our parents were still at work and school was done for the day. She cooked for us and fed us with her hands.

There were 5 of us, myself with 2 of my elder sisters, along with my two eldest cousins. Grandma never failed to have us fed. And back in those days of the late 80s, Popeye was very much popular and it was easy to feed us vegetable, especially spinach. Grandma has always been soft spoken. It’s not easy for you to hear her raising her voice, even if she was angry, it’s not too often she raised her voice.

After this last photo was taken, I pushed her back slowly. She repeated the same things she said when I was pushing her to Esso, about the mango trees not having any mangoes. As I was enjoying my Magnum, I was beaming with joy; not because I finally got my Magnum ice-cream, but because I had spent time with Grandma. She might not remember we even went down together to Esso, or even the fact this photo was taken.

For me, it was good enough to know I took care of her today. It was my one-day of repaying her countless days taking care of me when I was still a child. I hope there are many other days like this I can still give to her in return.

When true friends are loved

I wrote a whole long post and somehow, just somehow, instead of updating my blog, the whole entry disappeared when I clicked on the “Publish” button. It felt like I’ve just lost a whole load of my friends cos I wrote a whole entry for all of them.

Bummer.

What I had wanted to say was, I learnt it the hard way that I should not neglect my friends, penalizing them with my disappearance for something I’ve experienced which they do not know of.

I’ve had my heart broken and I sort of had a change of heart with friendships. While I go into recluse, I only met a certain group of friends because they are the ones who were as affected as I was. I thought it was good to hide away and not hurt the others with the pain I felt.

How wrong I am. Now, I am reflecting the wrongs I have done to renew myself.

I thank you, all of my friends, who have let me “disappear” for awhile. I miss each and every one of you and am trying to catch up with lost times.

I guess, the year end always make it easier for us to reflect and say, “hey, let’s get together and be merry”.

I love you.